"Hominem, memento te."

[You are] man, I remind you." Said by the slave holding the laurel leaves over the general's head in a Roman triumph. Its basic meaning was, "Don't presume, merely because you are dressed as an image of Mars and processing through the streets like the deity of a religious festival, that you really are a god." [Source]

A lot of people seek religious, mainly Bible where I'm from, quotes to guide and inspire them. Words are powerful things, and so are religions. Personally, I have seen beauty and hatred sparked from both, and my experiences have led to my prolonged religious conflict both internally and externally.

I was never told by my parents what to believe. Though I was baptized in the Catholic church and my earlier religious views were notably based in Catholicism, I never believed it. When my parents took me to various Baptist and Nondenominational Christian churches as I grew older and I eventually attended a Lutheran church briefly when asked by a friend, I never felt comfortable. I didn't know what I believed, but I knew subconsciously that I didn't believe in Christianity.

I think I started to realize that I just wasn't Christian in ninth Honors Ancient History. We were studying the origins of Christianity and the thought occurred to me: "What if Jesus was just a bored teenager that made it all up?"

While I am fairly certain that the origins of such a major world religion could not be so simple, the thought stayed with me, and slowly grew into doubt, and then the realization almost two years later that I simply was not Christian.

As I grew to understand my beliefs, I gave myself many titles. First Agnostic, and then briefly Atheist at a time when I was particularly adverse to religion, and then back to Agnostic. However, until a few months ago, I was scared to say exactly what I believe, and until very recently, I didn't feel that what I am is okay and the labels were unnecessary.

I can say that I have been genuinely hurt because of my religious beliefs. I have lost a handful of relationships, engaged in heated arguments with my parents, defended myself to classmates, felt sadness, longing, rage, and shame because of what I believe. Or, rather, what I don't.

I used to hope that religious topics would simply not come up so I would not have to talk about my views. I would meekly accept the Bibles that people presented to me while I worked in the grocery store (yeah, they do that), pretend not to be home when Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door, and even lie when people asked me where I attended church so not to stir up any controversy. It was not that I wasn't strong in my convictions, but rather that I did not expect acceptance for my beliefs and did not wish to have to defend them.

Now, I've realized that I should never have to defend them. If people are going to judge me because of what I believe, I will put them in the same category as the racists and sexists and refuse to associate with them. I am more than my religious beliefs. I am more than what I do on Sunday morning. I am a person, and my religious views are only a small part of the whole. What I am is fine. If the Creator was personally offended with the way I was living my life, I would have already been struck down by lightening.

Well, I'm still here. I must be doing something right.

I should not be ashamed to declare my beliefs. If people can come to my doorstep asking to share their faith, if my obnoxious manager can say "Merry Christmas" over the intercom, if religiously based groups can speak in my school, if this is truly a country based on freedom of religion (and it is, I wrote a paper on it), then I should be free to declare my beliefs without need to justify them. So I will:

I am not Christian. I am not Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, or anything else, and that is okay.

I believe in openness of heart and mind. I believe that no one religion is right, but they all have some Truth and something to offer. I believe there is a God and an afterlife. I believe in Fate. I believe in happiness. I believe in love. I believe that I can achieve enlightenment and eternal bliss from simply being the best person I can be and practicing compassion at every opportunity. This is what I believe, and this is what works for me.

To those who believe that their religion is right for you, proceed. If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything. Faith is a beautiful thing that is often envied by those without it, believe me. Share what you believe and stick firmly to it, but only if in return you have an open mind and are brave enough to examine why believe what you do. Sometimes, being told something by our parents is not enough. Parents have the right to share their religion with their children, but children also have the right to explore other faiths and decide what we believe. Parents have more influence than anyone upon their children, but we must remember that in the end, we all end up ultimately alone, and the grave would be an awful place to begin to wonder why you believe what you do.

However, to those who believe that their religion is the only way to Truth, I beseech you to have an open mind. Religion is about being in touch with your beliefs and spirituality and having an individual relationship with God. And to those who are quick to judge the Muslim woman in a headscarf, the Wiccan wearing a pentagram, the Catholic carrying rosary beads, or the quiet Atheist who has never done a thing to offend you but not believing in your God, I beg you remember that you are not God. You are man, and you have no divine right to judge. Every person you encounter has something unique to offer and a reason for being in your life, but if you deny them the opportunity to offer it because of difference in beliefs, you can never grow spiritually.

We are all one. Every single person, regardless of age, gender, race, sexual orientation, religion, or football team allegiance bleeds red. I have no authority to speak of what any Creator wanted or planned for humanity, but I feel confident that He/She would grieve to see His/Her children fighting, killing, and isolating one another over the best way to worship. Ultimately, we don't know. We have no solid answers, so why divide ourselves?

"Alone, we can do so little; together we can do so much."
-Helen Keller

Today, I burned my past. Literally. I attended a service at the Westside Unitarian Universalist Church. (My computer insists that 'universalist' is not a word, but I promise I didn't make it up.) This was only the second time I attended, but I felt very accepted and responded well to the message. I think this will be the place or worship for me, but I'm not making any commitments yet.

A longtime member led the service. The theme of the day was a letting go. He spoke about embracing the future and moving on from past regrets. He spoke for about twenty minutes, using poetry and Buddhist-based texts as well as his own words to get the point across. When he was done, he told everyone to get a piece of paper and pencil.

He told us to write down our regrets of 2010, the things we wished we'd done, the things we wanted to forget, and what we wished to move on from. Then, one by one, we went to the altar and dropped our paper into a small fire in an urn, symbolically erasing our regrets and vowing to move on. It was strangely therapeutic, and now I feel like I will be able to move on from my list of regrets.

I came out of the service today feeling very happy. I'm sad to admit that I have not felt very happy in quite some time. However, the incredibly welcoming community at WUUC and the prospect of a clean slate cheered me. Maybe that's the power of religion. Maybe having a place where you are welcome, accepted, and inspired to be your personal best is more healing than the touch of any prophet or messiah. Maybe if everyone could realize this monumental power of acceptance and togetherness, the world would be a better place. Maybe.

"We're one, but we're not the same. We get to carry each other, carry each other. One..."
-U2, "One"

Happy New Year
May you go in peace